Tourist Traps in Chicago

The largest city in the Midwest is no shrinking violet when it comes to culture, history and nightlife. We’re talking everything from galleries to ghost tours, world-class architecture to late-night jazz joints and – yes – Chicago pizza. Then there’s the Cubs, the Bulls, the Blackhawks, and the Bears. And a skyline that’s the envy of the States. But with great popularity comes madding crowds, interminable lines, and inauthentic attractions. Yep, even the Windy City ain’t immune to the odd tourist trap or three. We’ve taken a deep(-dish)-dive to get the lowdown on what’s good, what’s bad and what’s just plain damn ugly. So without further ado, here are five Chicago tourist traps to dodge, and what to do instead…

Bean There, Done That

We know, we know… it’s the most popular piece of public art in Chicago; how can you not visit it when you’re in town? In fact, it’s the most popular attraction in Chicago, period. Or, at least, Millennium Park is, but that’s due in no small part to the great mirrored bean that lies gleaming at its center.

Officially named Cloud Gate, but more prosaically known as the Bean (for reasons that are more than apparent) this enormous stainless steel sculpture by British artist Anish Kapoor attracts upwards of 20 million visitors a year. So yeah, it’s iconic, but it’s also a major tourist trap. Pitch up any time after, say, 6AM and you can kiss goodbye to that coveted ‘alone in Millennium Park’ selfie you’ve been dreaming of. It’s worse after 9AM, when swarms of selfie stick-toting tourists will ensure you barely get a look in, and might even have your eye out. Midday? Fuggedaboudit!

But we know you’re going to go and see it anyway, so here’s our advice. Don’t make it the whole point of your trip, but rather take it in as part of a tour of Millennium Park’s other fine attractions. Spanish artist Jaume Plensa’s interactive Crown Fountain is worth a moment of your time. Likewise the vibrant Lurie Garden. Or hit up other nearby downtown hotspots: grab an old-fashioned at Chicago institution Cindy’s or ogle Van Gogh, Hopper and O’Keeffe originals over at the Art Institute (pictured above).

Unnatural Highs

Tourists flock to Chicago’s sky-high observation decks. And flocking tourists mean two things. That’s right: long, tedious lines and inflated entry prices. This is true of both of Chicago’s decks – the 360 Chicago way up on the 94th floor of the John Hancock Building and the Skydeck at Willis Tower, only the highest observation deck in the United States.

Sure, the views are quite something, spanning the whole of the Windy City (including Navy Pier and the Magnificent Mile, more of which later) and beyond to as many as four US states. Both have tourist-luring gimmicks: Skydeck’s glass-floored Ledge and a terrifying forward-tilting platform at 360, for which only those with nerves of absolute steel need apply.

But it’s not all bad news for thrill-seekers. There are ways and means of dodging queues and saving on entry. Get to either in the early morning or late evening and you’ll find far fewer fellow tourists blocking your view. And sign up for a Chicago attraction pass from Go City for solid savings when taking in a number of  different tours, activities and attractions on your vacation. Pro-tip: both Skydeck and 360 Chicago are included with the pass. Get more info and bag yours here.

A Pizza the Action

The deep-dish pizza is to Chicago as the pastrami sandwich is to New York, or the Philly cheesesteak is to Philadelphia. In other words, you can’t visit the Windy City without scoffing at least one (and probably several more) of these guilty pleasures, their raised edges allowing for maximum cheese action on top. The lure of OG pizza purveyors like Nancy’s and Girodano’s is great, and rightly so: cooked in traditional iron skillets their molten discs of oozing mozzarella are nothing short of life-affirming. But, inevitably, these stalwarts of the deep-dish scene have become Chicago tourist traps down the years, so be prepared to wait for your food – it’s not unknown for queues to snake around the block during busy periods.

Don’t want to wait? The likes of Pequod’s, Milly’s and The Art of Pizza are favorite local alternatives, serving up deep-dish pizza that’s every bit as good, and less likely to have you gnawing off your own arm in hunger while you wait.

Get right under the skin of the city’s dining scene on a guided foodie tour. Most will take in hip ‘hoods like Lincoln Park and Pilsen, broadening your gourmet horizons beyond pizza alone to other Chicago treats like carne asada tacos and Italian beef sandwiches.

The Magnificent Mile

Love shopping? Enjoy being carried along in great waves of slow-moving window shoppers? Then Michigan Avenue’s Magnificent Mile is the place for you! All joking aside, this great shrine to capitalism comprises some 450 retailers, so there’s plenty of opportunity to give the old credit card a workout here. It’s just that it’s very overcrowded, over-commercialized and – whisper it – not all that interesting. The majority of stores here are mainstream brands that you can find on every high street – Bloomingdale’s, Apple, Nike… you get the general idea.

Sidestep the tourist traps here and do your Chicago shopping somewhere with a little more personality. Browse for vintage vinyl records, retro fashions and beautiful old books in the hip indie boutiques of Bucktown and Wicker Park. Or hit up Lincoln Square for unique jewelry, sculptures and other art pieces from local makers.

Navy Pier

Kids absolutely love Navy Pier, thanks to its old-school seaside vibes, giant Ferris wheel, Children’s Museum, family-friendly stores like Build-A-Bear, and sweet surfeit of dessert diners. So it feels a little churlish to include it in a list of Chicago tourist traps. See it through a child’s eyes and, frankly, you’re going to have an incredible time here, right down to that irresistible (but pricey) rainbow ice cream, a tower of orange sherbet, pistachio, Palmer House, chocolate and strawberry scoops stacked high on a cone.

If, on the other hand, being surrounded by strollers, selfie-takers, tacky souvenir stores and toddlers high on sugar sounds like the seventh circle of hell to you, we’d advise you to give Navy Pier a very wide berth. 

Save on Activities, Tours and Attractions in Chicago

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