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Anyway, enough with the spooky silliness; you'll want to know what to do over Halloween in New York, right? Well, let's take a look at the best and eeriest activities on offer.

Above the dank and dark catacombs, we now travel to Greenwich Village. Did you know it was originally named after a green witch? Neither did we, because it is a lie. There never was a green witch in Greenwich. But you know what Greenwich does have? Ghosts. Tons of ghosts.

That's right, Halloween-goers, you too can discover Manhattan's spine-chilling secrets on a ghostly walking tour of the local neighborhood. Visit Greenwich Village's most haunted hangouts to hear tales of lost children, celebrity ghosts and park-dwelling phantoms. Let your guide weave creepy tales that go bump in the night. Witness the weirdness of the Hanging Tree, take a spooky stroll around Washington Square Park, and get ready to snap a picture of real ghosts along the way. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky!

Even monsters, wraiths and demons need to get their groove on now and again, right? Which is where NYC’s spooktacular Halloween nightlife comes in. You’ll want to book well in advance (and start planning your costume even earlier) if you want to bag a ticket for the City of Gods party at Brooklyn’s vast Industry City. Said to be the biggest immersive Halloween party on the East Coast, it promises multiple live stages, plus hidden rooms, interactive artworks and some of the most extravagant costumes this side of Elton John.

Also at Industry City, although not on the same night because that would be silly, the annual Vampire Ball is a sad-eyed goth’s dream ticket, with live music and something called a ‘blood rave’ Sounds pretty fangtastic, huh?

Elsewhere, Circololo at Brooklyn Storehouse brings Ibiza-style house and techno to the zombie hordes. Can’t get a ticket for any of the above? Fear not, for there will be many more Halloween-themed pub parties and bar crawls going bump in the night right across town. 

A poodle dressed as Patrick Bateman, a labrador in a Hannibal Lecter mask, a punk pomeranian, a headless husky, a shitsu in wolf’s clothing. All utterly absurd. All completely hilarious. The Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade is your annual opportunity to put your pooch-disguising skills to the test in a bid to claim the coveted title of best-dressed doggo. You’ll have to bring your A-game though, as your pedigree chum will be up against hundreds of similarly ambitious four-legged contestants. Canines of all shapes, sizes and varieties, all barking up the same tree: the tree of whose costume is best. 

Do you really need another reason to mosey down to Luna Park at Coney Island? We mean, other than all the usual stuff: thrill rides, hot dogs, funnel cakes and old-school amusement arcades? Well no, you probably don’t, but we’re going to give you one anyway. Halloween Harvest runs on weekends from mid-September through to the other side of Halloween and contains all the essential ingredients needed to make spooky season go off with a BOO! 

We’re talking family-friendly fall activities by the boatload: trick-or-treating, tractor racing, balloon modeling, caricature portraits, pumpkin-picking (and decorating) and more.

And, once you’ve got your Halloween on, why not do something that will really put the fear of god in you? Like riding a century-old wooden coaster (it’s safe, we promise) or screaming your little lungs out as the Slingshot catapults you skywards. Yikes.

It simply wouldn’t be Halloween without a jack-o’-lantern or two. The Bronx Zoo takes this idea and runs with it, choosing to go big rather than go home, with a themed trail that features more than 5,000 of the grinning orange blighters, each one of them lovingly hand-carved and illuminated from within. Harvest Glow, y’see: the clue’s in the name.

Follow the trail, catch live pumpkin-carving demos (to replace any rotting or collapsed ones), and say hey to the various spooky costumed characters roaming around the place. Just try not to think about the poor guy who’ll have to clean up this mess once those 5,000 gourds start to do what carved gourds do with the inevitable passage of time.

Harvest Glow runs at the Bronx Zoo Thursday–Sunday through October. 

Sure, everybody talks about the Halloween Parade in Greenwich Village. But did you know DUMBO also runs its very own spooky celebrations every October? Well, now you do. Dumboween kicks off with a costumed parade through Brooklyn Bridge Park, complete with bombastic brass band and giant, creepy puppets. Don your best serial killer/dead celeb/vampire garb and join the party as it weaves its way to the Dumbo Archway, where crafts, candy and music reward costumed revelers.

The party runs late afternoon into early evening, so it’s suitable for kids, too, not least because many local businesses hand out candy throughout (look for the pumpkin sign in shop windows). There’s also a(nother) best-dressed dog contest, plus cool spooky projections on Manhattan Bridge, plus loads more ghoulish goings on in and around the neighborhood.

If you want to dial up your Halloween with a hefty dose of adrenaline, then look no further than the ominously-titled Blood Manor. Maybe leave the kids at home for this one, because you'll be in for some real terror.

This massive haunted house is located at 359 Broadway, and it's not for the faint of heart. In fact, children under 14 won't even be allowed in for fear of being scarred for life! For those of you who do dare enter, you'll find haunted halls, petrifying passageways, and a multitude of actors trained in one thing and one thing only: being really scary.

If you survive and want to go next year, then you're in for a treat, because the whole petrifying place gets refreshed every year. So next time you round that corner you were sure was safe, you might be in for a big surprise.